This is a real friendship story about Sofie, who joined Gofrendly, the women-only friendship app, when her friends’ lives filled up with partners and families, and found her friend Sofie thanks to a shared love of breakfast. Here’s how it happened, as she told it to us.
Key Takeaways
- Sofie’s friends were settling down with partners and families, and she often spent weekends and holidays on her own.
- She saved another Sofie as a favourite because her profile said she loved breakfast, and the other Sofie wrote first.
- They met for coffee in August 2017 and have been friends ever since.
Sofie & Sofie’s Real Friendship Story
“I started using Gofrendly in the summer of 2017. Back then, I felt my friends’ lives were moving on the way they should: settling into stable relationships, buying flats and moving in together, engagements, weddings and children. I was renting a sublet and was the eternal single (sadly, nothing has changed on that front), and I felt more and more left out,” Sofie says.
“There were couples’ dinners and couples’ weekends, and I often sat on my own at weekends and on holidays, because my friends – which I completely understand – spent their time with their partners and each other’s families. I thought that if I made more friends, the risk of sitting around with nothing to do every single Saturday would be smaller.”
A Shared Love of Breakfast
“In my profile I wrote that I was looking for single friends without children, but on 4 August that year I added Sofie as a favourite, even though she lived with her partner. I think I was drawn to the fact that she wrote in her profile that she loved breakfast – so do I. Then she was the one who wrote to me, saying she understood what I meant, that people in relationships usually spend their time with their partners.”
“We wrote to each other a bit before Sofie asked if we should meet, and on 21 August 2017 we met for the first time, over coffee. It’s just carried on from there.”
“I thought that if I made more friends, the risk of sitting around with nothing to do every single Saturday would be smaller.”
— Sofie, Gofrendly memberDifferent, but Alike
“We’re very different in many ways (Sofie loves working out and is very social and outgoing, while I hate exercising, am more reserved and can’t stand mingling), but at the same time we’re very alike (we both love reading, board games, the cinema, quizzes, museums and eating out), and I’d say we complement each other well.”
“At the moment we work right next to each other, so we often meet up for lunch. We both come from other parts of the country, so neither of us has family in the city. Through Sofie I’ve also gained another friend, or rather through her husband. At their wedding I got to know a colleague of his, and today she and I meet up about once a month.”
Not Every Friend Date Clicks
“Around the same time I met Sofie, I went on a few more friend dates with girls I’d been chatting to on Gofrendly. With a couple of them it didn’t click at all, and one I met a handful of times, but it never felt nearly as relaxed as it did with Sofie, so it fizzled out.”
Sofie and Sofie have had years of coffees and lunches, and research suggests that kind of time is what close friendship needs. In a study by communication researcher Jeffrey Hall, it took more than 200 hours together before someone became a close friend. You can read more in the University of Kansas summary of the research.
200+ hoursThe time together Hall’s research found it takes before someone becomes a close friend.
Source: Jeffrey Hall, University of Kansas (2018), Journal of Social and Personal Relationships
Passing It On
“I still have the app, but I’m not very active these days – work takes up so much time, and I’ve made more friends through it, so I simply don’t have time to meet many more. But the app is still there in case I end up needing to widen my circle again. I think it’s a fantastic app. I recommended it to my cousin when she felt lonely after finishing school, and she made two friends. I also recommended it to my aunt after her divorce, and she got to know two new friends too.”
Ready to Find Your Breakfast Friend?
Gofrendly is a women-only app for meeting new friends, wherever life has taken your old ones.
What Sofie & Sofie’s Friendship Can Teach You
Their story is a reminder of a few simple things.
- Your filters don’t have to be strict. Sofie was looking for friends without partners or children, but she saved Sofie anyway.
- Small things in common count. A shared love of breakfast was what made Sofie stop at her profile.
- Not every friend date will click. A couple of Sofie’s other meetups didn’t click at all, and that’s part of it.
- Different can complement. They describe themselves as very different and very alike at the same time.
Frequently asked questions
Is this a real Gofrendly member story?
Yes. Sofie shared her own experience of finding a friend through Gofrendly, and her story appears here as she shared it with us.
How did Sofie and Sofie meet?
Sofie saved the other Sofie as a favourite on Gofrendly because her profile said she loved breakfast. The other Sofie wrote first, and they met for coffee on 21 August 2017.
Can I share my own Gofrendly friendship story?
We’d love to hear it – every real friendship story starts with someone sharing theirs. Share your friendship story through our form.
If your friends’ lives have filled up with partners and families, you’re far from the only one. Our guide on what to do when your friends are all coupled up is a good place to start, and our piece on how long it takes to become best friends looks at the research.
