This is a real friendship story about Ella, who went to a meetup on her own after joining Gofrendly, the women-only friendship app, and met Hanna, now one of her best friends, there. Here’s how it happened, as she told it to us.
Key Takeaways
- Ella had moved to a new city and didn’t have many friends there.
- She went to a summer meetup in a park completely on her own, and Hanna offered her a seat on her blanket.
- A year later, Hanna is one of her very best friends, and they even work at the same company.
Ella & Hanna’s Real Friendship Story
“When I moved to the city almost two years ago, I didn’t have many friends here. I’d had the Gofrendly app before but hadn’t really used it. Once I’d got settled with a flat and a job, I thought it was time to get to know some people, and I started using the app,” Ella says.
“On a public holiday last June, a girl had organised a lawn games tournament in a park, and I thought, ‘Why not go? I’ve got nothing else on anyway.’ So I went, completely on my own, without knowing anyone there. It was a bit nerve-wracking, but it turned out to be the start of an amazing friendship.”
A Seat on Hanna’s Blanket
“As soon as I arrived, a girl called Hanna offered me a seat on her blanket, since I hadn’t brought one. We started talking loads and played the games together too. Later that evening, Hanna, a few other girls and I went for drinks. Several of the girls asked Hanna and me how long we’d known each other and said, ‘You must have known each other your whole lives.’ When we told them we’d met for the first time that day, everyone was completely shocked.”
“So I went, completely on my own, without knowing anyone there.”
— Ella, Gofrendly memberA Year Later
“A few weeks later Hanna and I met up again, and about a month after that she came to visit me at my parents’ in Spain. Now, just over a year later, Hanna is one of my very best friends. We see each other several days a week and we even work at the same company.”
“How lucky that I plucked up the courage to go to the park on my own that warm June day a year ago – otherwise I might never have met Hanna!”
People Like Us More Than We Think
The other girls couldn’t believe Ella and Hanna had only just met, and research suggests first conversations often go better than we fear. In a series of studies, psychologists Erica Boothby, Gus Cooney, Gillian Sandstrom and Margaret Clark found that people consistently underestimated how much their new conversation partners liked them. They called it the liking gap, and you can find the study in the University of Essex research repository.
The liking gap
After conversations with new people, participants consistently underestimated how much their conversation partners liked them. Among students who had just started living together, the gap lasted for much of the academic year.
Source: Boothby, Cooney, Sandstrom & Clark (2018), Psychological Science
Ready to Take the Leap?
Gofrendly is a women-only app for meeting new friends, and sometimes the bravest step is simply turning up.
What Ella & Hanna’s Friendship Can Teach You
Their story is a reminder of a few simple things.
- Turn up, even on your own. Ella went to the meetup without knowing anyone, and that’s how she met Hanna.
- Nerves are part of it. Ella says it was a bit nerve-wracking, and it turned out to be the start of an amazing friendship.
- Follow it up. A few weeks later they met again, and a month after that Hanna came to visit Ella at her parents’.
Frequently asked questions
Is this a real Gofrendly member story?
Yes. Ella shared her own experience of meeting Hanna, and her story appears here as she shared it with us.
How did Ella and Hanna meet?
At a summer meetup in a park that another woman had organised. Ella went on her own, and Hanna offered her a seat on her blanket because she hadn’t brought one.
Can I share my own Gofrendly friendship story?
We’d love to hear it – every real friendship story starts with someone sharing theirs. Share your friendship story through our form.
Going somewhere on your own is the part most of us put off. Our piece on fear of rejection when making friends looks at why, and if you’ve just moved, our guide on how to make friends in a new city is a good place to start.
